1) You should probably join my mailing list for updates (and occasional free stuff!)

2) I really, honestly can’t read or comment on your work. It’s a legal thing.

3) Sorry, I can’t recommend you to my agent or provide you with a blurb either. It’s a workload thing.

4) Feel free to¬†use this form to solicit a commission for a blog, short story, screenplay, interpretive dance concept – but please include payment info in your initial contact. It’s a professional-not-amateur thing.

5) Spotted a typo? Got a formatting error? The audiobook is in the wrong language? Sorry, nothing I can do. Please contact the relevant publisher. It’s their thing.

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